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And my first post in 5 months is...   
01:00am 10/03/2012
mood: blank
...a pointless Friday Five! yay~

1. What do you wear to bed? Soft lounge/pajama pants and a 10+ year old oversized shirt, tee- or sweat- depending on the season.
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Middle. I have a standard waterbed, so if I'm not right in the middle, I'll roll off to the side and get smashed up against the hard edges and wake up with bruises...
3. Are you back, side, or stomach sleeper? Side, usually... on my back if I have a stomachache. Too fat and top-heavy to be comfortable on my stomach. ¬_¬
4. How many layers of bedding are on your bed? In short, two layers below and one above. In long... a fixed and a flat sheet over the mattress (water mattresses feel cold after a while since they don't absorb body heat... mine does at least... maybe the heater's just old), and just an old floppy comforter over me.
5. Are you a bed hog or a covers-thief? Neither, I don't think... actually when I sleep in beds that aren't my own, I end up pushing most of the covers off me and hanging a limb or two off the edge into the open air, since I get hot (especially in hotel beds that have like 4 layers, who the eff needs all that?).

(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

update I guess   
05:31am 17/11/2011
mood: crushed
For those who don't see my Twitter or Blog (or Ameba for that matter)... Ginger finally passed away tonight.

Her story in a nutshell: about a month ago I noticed she'd lost some weight, but figured it was just a sign of her age as she'd turned 16 in June. But she kept getting thinner and thinner, and eating less and less, which is saying a lot considering she was pretty much born a lardbutt... so 2 weeks ago I broke down and took her to the vet. Turned out she had a big mass in her abdomen, blocking her digestion. He sent us home with a laxative and a couple other meds in hopes that it was just a hairball or food matter that could pass through, but a week later there was no improvement and she still only kept getting weaker and less hungry by the day... so he said there was nothing more he could do. Surgery was an option, but operating on a 16 year old cat is way too risky, especially as weak and malnourished as she was already... so I decided to just support her as much as possible and let her live our her days in the comfort of her home, surrounded by her family.

Well... by the beginning of this week I was practically begging the powers that be to just take her and end her suffering. It was killing me watching her lose the ability to eat, to drink, to walk, to stand, to even raise her head... I did consider having her put to sleep, but every time I went to check up on her right up until the day before she died, she would always try her hardest to look up at me and purr and even roll over a tiny bit to give me her belly or neck to scratch... so I knew she'd rather be with her loved ones and not die in a strange, scary place surrounded by strange people and scary barking dogs.

...So there it is, I guess. For the first time in 21 years, I am a cat lady without a cat.

06.23.1995 ~ 11.16.2011

Goodnight, my sweet little booger...

(3 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

long-awaited *snort* update   
02:20am 14/11/2011
mood: crappy
You know, I've realized recently that my 2011 has really sucked. And it shows no signs of turning around before the year's out.

That's not to say nothing good has happened at all. Most notably, I got to meet Suicide Ali's original bassist Mst at Tekkoshocon and he was extremely awesome, and while it's still technically freelance and thus not the most financially rewarding thing ever, I actually landed a job doing something I enjoy. But otherwise this year has been just disappointment after slump after frustration after stress and it finally all started crashing down on me over the past several weeks. Then to top it all off, now I'm watching my cat slowly die before my eyes.

For several months I've been counting on going to Anime USA in... well, it's next weekend now... which I had hoped would be a much-needed ray of sunshine. But then Ginger got sick and I didn't want to leave her alone for 4 days. Though as of now she hasn't eaten a thing in 2 days and can't even walk more than a few steps or hold her head up right anymore, so I doubt she'll still be around then anyway... but still, due to a bunch of other crap I can't help feeling like it would just be a waste of my time and money.

...I'm not really sure why I came here to write this. I'm tired. This has probably been the longest month and a half of my life, with endless long days and too-short nights piling up on and on and on. And this would be the ideal night to get to bed early for once since my Sunday work actually got done before 4am (before midnight even, gasp) for the first time in weeks. Not that I'll sleep once the lights go out and sensory input is replaced with thoughts and stress and frustration and rage and depression...

*finds it difficult to care*

*gives up*


(2 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

it's still genius!   
04:32am 21/06/2011
mood: amused
So I already whored this song once a few months ago (back here), only to find out shortly after that I was actually about a year behind everyone else in discovering the pure genius of its existence.

And now, still more months later, I finally decided to look up the lyrics.

And I just. Wow. *sheds a tear*

Ensoku - This is a pen

This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.

※This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.

This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is ・・・

This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.

Hey yo! Everybody! We need a pen.

刻むB‧P‧N 廻すP‧E‧N 書きなぐれ お前をさらけ出せ。
今紙とお前がコンタクト(接触) ペンはこんなにコンパクト(しまいやすい)

This isと言ったらA penでお願いします!!」

This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ a pen.

This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.


This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen.
This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen. This is a pen!!!!

...The genius. My mind is blown. Especially by that very last line. The emotion! The power! The !!!!

*goes to laugh head off some more*

I think my favorite part, though, is how they actually bothered to use the ※Repeat connotation for ONE VERSE when the entire song is just one repeated sentence in the first place. XD

(Do be sure to watch the PV if you haven't heard the song yet. These deep, stunning lyrics will make so much more sense that way. :D)

(...Also, seriously, I love this song. I think whoever came up with the idea for it deserves a Nobel prize or something. So yeah, rabid Ensoku fans, don't kill me for making fun of it. I do it out of love. ♥)

(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

Pet peeve #4638089346   
09:34pm 18/06/2011
mood: *needs an eyerolling kitty*
People who "demand respect" but seemingly lack the ability to demonstrate it toward others.

(4 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

12:56pm 08/05/2011
mood: blah
So I never update this anymore...

Mostly I just wanted to whine about how I was down all day yesterday with the headache of doom, which didn't go away until evening and left the rest of my being feeling generally disgusting. Then I went to bed and it decided to hit me with a nice shot of nausea that kept me awake until dawn, so I skipped whatever morning Mother's Day plans I had in favor of trying to sleep off whatever this stupid thing is. Sorry, Mom. In the end I couldn't even get back to sleep anyway.

This weekend sucks. As in, all the life out of what little reserves I had to spare.

In other news, the first draft of my Tekko report came out to 52 pages. That's only a few pages shorter than this last Nekocon report. All things considered, I have NO idea how it ended up that long. >_> ...Actually, no, I do. It's all the ranting. But the public version will be drastically shorter, I'm sure.

Guess I should attempt to eat something now...

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

12:13am 06/04/2011
mood: stressed


*falls off a cliff*

Oh yeah, and I made it home from Tekkoshocon. US debut of lix was one of the biggest successes of any band Tainted Reality has ever brought. Rarely do we get such an epic, amazing concert when we take a band to a convention, but this year we got TWO of them. No major blunders, no broken equipment, no major delays, nothing. Just... epic. My favorite part was watching Mst bounce around all over the stage movin' and shakin' his stuff like there's no tomorrow. 8D

I'll try to pound out a report (I've been writing up an outline), but I've got several other things I need to take care of first. My user icon may or may not be an indicator as to how I feel about said things. *cough*

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

01:18pm 13/03/2011
mood: sympathetic
Kiwamu has decided to donate a portion of the Darkest Labyrinth & Starwave Records online shop profits to SHOW YOUR HEART, a fundraiser for disaster relief in Japan started by none other than Gackt himself, from now until April 30.

If anyone has been thinking about checking out those pretty THE SOUND BEE HD guys (and girl) for a while now, or hasn't bought the latest SUICIDE ALI single yet, or is just looking for some awesome new music from a variety of genres, NOW IS THE TIME.

Buy CDs from this site. Please. Japan needs all the help they can get, and you need all the awesome music you can get your hands on too. ♥

Starwave Records & Darkest Labyrinth news
Starwave Records & Darkest Labyrinth will contribute a part of income from label online shop to "SHOW YOUR HEART" foundation between March 13 to April 30. As the artist, as the label, our power may be small. But we want to help something for earthquake victims.

Label online shop:

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

LOL, really??   
07:03pm 11/02/2011
mood: sick
First Pigg releases chess piece furniture sets in its casino shop...

Then Subeta releases two chess-themed avatar sets.

All within weeks after the release of Perpetual Check.

Suicide Ali is taking over the world and they don't even know it. >D


(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

...I am speechless   
02:37am 28/01/2011
mood: amused
Proof that a song can be written about ANYthing...


(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

02:31am 12/01/2011
mood: サビシイノダヨ





(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

Cuban Pete...?   
01:52pm 13/12/2010
mood: disappointed
Meme-tagged by reiko_chan_desu! She actually tagged me on Facebook, but Facebook and I have a love-hate-hate relationship, so... >>;

1.) Put your Itunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2.) For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4.) Tag 20 friends.
5.) Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6.) Have fun!

1.) IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY', YOU SAY? T-Shirt - Sakamoto Maaya
2.) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Black or White - Michael Jackson
3.) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Nocturnal Romance - Moi Dix Mois
4.) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Crawling - Linkin Park
5.) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Bara no Hanayome - Utena Musical
6.) WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO? Always & Never - Coheed and Cambria
7.) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Ikemen Boogie - Hana Kimi drama OST
8.) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Kansatsu - Suicide Ali
9.) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Silent Night - Buck-Tick
10.) WHAT IS 2+2? Ame ni Utaeba ~Pichipichi Chapuchapu Ranran Blues~ - Miyavi
12.) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Ask the Owl - Vision of Escaflowne OST
17.) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Jessica - Dir en grey
18.) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Thai Orchid - Ragnarok Online
20.) WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? Answer - Hiviki
21.) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Muddy Blood - Dué le quartz
22.) WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE? Cuban Pete - The Mask OST

And my geeky commentary. You know you care.Collapse )

In other news, when you've sent out no less than six emails/messages to three different people through four different methods and get no replies over a course of two weeks, you start to wonder. -_-;;


(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

well, of course   
07:36pm 04/12/2010
  There's always a catch, isn't there?  

(2 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

THE SOUND BEE HD at Nekocon 2010 - public report (4 of 4)   
02:32pm 03/12/2010
  And finally part 4, covering Sunday and onward - the last day of the con, our last day with the band, the goodbyes, and the return home. Sunday was probably my favorite day of this whole trip. ♥

Part the fourth!Collapse )

And that's it! If anyone managed to survive the entire report, I hope you enjoyed it :D

(3 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

THE SOUND BEE HD at Nekocon 2010 - public report (3 of 4)   
02:28pm 03/12/2010
  Arriving now at part 3, which covers the second and busiest day of Nekocon, in which lots of cool stuff happens :D

Part the third!Collapse )

Fourth and final part right here!

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

THE SOUND BEE HD at Nekocon 2010 - public report (2 of 4)   
02:24pm 03/12/2010
  And now for part 2 of the longest Becky Con Report in history, covering Friday, the first official day of the con!

Part the second!Collapse )

Moving along to part 3...

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

THE SOUND BEE HD at Nekocon 2010 - public report (1 of 4)   
02:21pm 03/12/2010
mood: chipper
Ok, I give up. This year's Nekocon report turned out to be my longest one ever at a ridiculous 55 pages... and even after weeks of editing and weeding things out, the public version still comes out to 38. And I don't wanna cut out any more of the looooooooove. DX So, well. If you desire to read this baby, get yourself a drink and settle in. :P I'll be posting it in four parts - I could get away with three and still fit within LJ's character limit, but I decided on four to keep it in the original format I wrote it in - first con day, second con day, third con day, fourth con day. It just works, yo.

By the way, if you haven't read my previous convention reports, in particular the Nekocon 2009 one... well, it's not mandatory, but it'll give you a better idea of what's going on, where we are, who's who, etc.

Also, you'll notice lots of external links throughout this report. Most of them are pictures. I highly suggest NOT ignoring them. :B

And I guess that's enough of an introduction... so without further ado I present to you part 1 of my Nekocon 2010 report, covering the first day of my adventures and the journey leading up to it (in other words, Wednesday through Thursday)!

Part the first!Collapse )

And now, continue thee onward to part 2!

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

Writer's Block: One day   
04:34am 21/11/2010
mood: sleepy
How do you feel when a favorite band breaks up? Do you still follow the original band members in their new projects?

I've seen so many of my favorite bands breaking up, losing members, etc since most of the ones I follow are in the indies visual kei scene... and it never seems to get any easier. Probably because I've actually worked with many of the bands that I'm into (as their translator), so when they break up or members quit, there's always the chance I'll lose a good friend (on a business level I mean >> don't worry, I'm not that creepy lol). Kaede of BLOOD comes to mind... he was one of the most amazing bassists I've ever seen, and just an awesome person to hang out with, but since BLOOD called it quits I've pretty much lost all chance of ever seeing him again. I still have contacts with the other two former BLOOD members, but I really miss Kaede sometimes...

Of course, the upside to breakups and member splits in the indies V-kei scene is that most of these guys stay in the business, whether they become support members, start solo projects, or join another band... and sometimes that helps a lot. I was really shocked and sad when I heard the news that Yuu was leaving Suicide Ali in early 2009, but Suicide Ali gained an awesome new bassist from the change, and Yuu came back about a year later with a new band that I grew to love just as much as his former one. So that was a relief... until that band broke up too. -_-; Well, not really... but all the members except Yuu decided to quit. That one REALLY stung me for some reason. I grew really into them really fast, and was psyched to bring them here to the US someday (and confident that we could since Yuu's history with SA earned them enough popularity early on)... but then suddenly it was just all over. I'm still following the departed members to see what new projects they end up with next, and I trust in Yuu's strength and talent to keep his band alive and keep making awesome music, but right now all I can think is that it'll never be the same. I can only hope that the other members join awesome new bands like Yuu did, and that whatever new lineup Yuu ends up with is just as awesome as the original.

Similar story with Luzmelt - they got off to a HUGE start in early 2010, and almost immediately came here for their US debut where I got to work with the five original members and really got to like them. Then over the next few months, three of the members quit. Two of them I'm still following (one I even still talk with on occasion, and he's determined to come back to the US with his new band), but the third one has kind of dropped off the face of the earth. And Luzmelt is left with only two original members plus one new one, and somehow the band has always had a sad, lonely aura about it ever since (from my point of view, anyway).

As for bands I like that I don't work personally for... uh, it's hard to say. It's always sad, of course, but it helps when at least some of the members continue to new projects... and I always have the music they made before they broke up to listen to as often as I want, at least.

...However, if the day ever comes when they tell me Suicide Ali is breaking up, I think I might crawl into a hole to weep and never come out. :\

Wow, this turned into a heck of a rant. Probably makes even less sense to you guys than it does to me. This is what I get for opening Livejournal at 4am in the middle of my neverending battle with insomnia...

(1 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

Friday Five for the heck of it   
05:35pm 12/11/2010
mood: cheerful
Seems today's theme is birthdays...

1. Do you really make wishes when you blow out the candles on your cake? It's been so long since I had a birthday cake, I can't really remember, but I'm gonna go with no. Might have once or twice, but I would've been so young at the time I can't be sure.

2. Have any of the wishes ever come true, if yes? Not if memory serves

3. How do you feel about birthdays? (e.g. love the attention, just another day, don't want anyone to know my real age, etc.) With regards to my own birthday, it's pretty much just another day. My family was never really the type to celebrate birthdays after adulthood, or even after a certain point in adolescence, so I don't think much of it when mine rolls around. So I don't expect a lot of attention or gifts, though I appreciate it immensely (all the more, in fact) when they do come. ♥ And as for other people's birthdays... I kinda fail at gift-giving, partially because I'm broke, but I do like to at least send a word of congrats, appreciation, etc when someone close to me is celebrating. Just to let them know I'm happy to have them around for another year... kinda thing.

4. Tell us a favorite gift you've received, or something you'd really like for your next birthday. My favorite gift of the ones I've gotten in recent years was a simple, sweet happy birthday message from someone who really didn't have to send one. ♥ And for my next birthday... a trip to Japan would be nice *cough*

5. What flavor cake? This flavor:


*goes back to writing con reports* ... *unnecessary squee*

(2 dark lights | come shine in her lost heart tonight...)

*is a happy puddle*   
11:50pm 09/11/2010
mood: touched
Ok, what was I so freaked out about?

...Oh, yeah. The 12 hour drive thing.

And all I have to say about that now is: whatever.

I was worried as to whether The Sound Bee HD would make this con worth that ridiculous drive?

I would drive ALL DAY to work for them again.

Hands down, best con experience I've ever had. The only thing I regret is that the long drive meant we rolled into Hampton too late for me to go with Roger to the airport to pick up the band. But everything still worked out. Better than worked out. Everything was AMAZING. Even after the 12 hour drive home, split up at the 3/4 point by a brief motel sojourn, I still came home so happy I felt like I was floating.

That pretty much says it all for now. Nekocon 13 was the best con I've ever staffed. The Sound Bee HD was the best and sweetest and easiest bunch of people I've ever worked with. And most important of all, they were 100% happy with the way everything went and asserted that they wouldn't have had us change a thing. That they felt no stress whatsoever the entire time they were here, only happiness and fun and laughter and smiles, and that they didn't want to leave when it was over. The hugs and tears and promises to keep in touch pretty much said it all. I don't know what can be more gratifying than that.

I've written up the first day of my report, and have rough "outlines" for the remaining days. Will probably try to scrape up a public version as usual when it's done. And yeah, unlike Tekko, I took notes at every spare moment I got throughout the entire weekend to ensure that I wouldn't forget half of the good stuff. If you thought that report was long and rambly, just wait. >_>

*sigh* I miss Daisuke's laugh...

(come shine in her lost heart tonight...)